CHOP TILL YOU DROP

HIGH Hitting a huge group of goblins with the wand for the first time.
LOW The final third feels like a letdown.
WTF The musical mid-game box battle.
With a return to their mid-’90s roots, first-person shooters have had something of a renaissance in recent years. These retro-styled titles are a welcome shot of adrenaline for a genre that has long become tired and stale. Chop Goblins is the distillation of this genre down to its most potent elements.
With an average playthrough lasting only 30 minutes, there is no room for Chop Goblins to slow down. Upon starting a new game, the first thing I notice is the music. Synth-heavy and bizarrely upbeat, the soundtrack has me bobbing my head as I blow away goblins in time with the tunes. This emphasis on rhythm creates a sense of urgency — in reality, there is no time limit, but I can’t shake the feeling that I need to move as fast as I possibly can.
Theoretically, Chop Goblins is a run-based shooter with an emphasis on achieving the highest score possible — but I’d be lying if I said maximizing my score multiplier is what propels me through each level. That propulsion instead comes from the very intentional design decisions, both in the visuals and gameplay.

To call the aesthetics utilitarian may be something of an overstatement — textures are basic to the point of being boring, barely registering as I dart through. Rather, the developer has focused on lighting to
differentiate each stage. While the details blur together, a castle corridor bathed in blue or hard white sun on marble columns stand out clearly in my mind. This offers a sense of visual identity for each section without the cost of high-res textures or assets — I’m moving too quickly to notice the details anyway.
The enemy design, on the other hand, is more noteworthy. While still decidedly lo-fi, careful attention has been paid to ensuring each enemy type has an immediately recognizable silhouette and easily-readable move-set. With flailing arms, big bulbous heads full of teeth and pitch-shifted voices, the titular goblins provide ripe targets as I blast my way through their lilting cries of “Chop! Chop! Chop!” Each level offers a new enemy type, steadily increasing in difficulty and capability.
Forgoing the randomized procedural generation typical of run-based games, Chop Goblins instead relies on carefully-crafted enemy encounters, hidden rooms, and alternate routes to keep subsequent playthroughs interesting. As I fly forward, there are multiple paths, and I choose without thinking as I make steady progress, rarely feeling lost or having to double back. Suddenly the walls around me are gone. I see a gaggle of goblins in the clearing ahead and a carefully-aimed shot hits a gas can. There’s an explosion, and for a moment, I can breathe as the world slows down for the first time since hitting ‘New Game’ and bloody chunks float suspended in the air.

Set pieces such as this emerge organically from the violence around me, providing strategic opportunity, shock and humor. However, some incongruous design decisions in later levels slow my progress.
For example, there are nominal attempts at puzzles that feel out of place — these rarely require more than simple environmental observation, but with a runtime of 30 minutes, they prove an unnecessary distraction from the otherwise insistent speed. Additionally, Chop Goblins crescendos early with the final stage feeling redundant and anti-climactic. However, the overall experience is so brief that I barely have
time to register the complaint.
Scope is a critical part of any project, and Chop Goblins understands this perfectly. By setting their sights modestly and emphasizing speed and tone, the developer manages an almost perfect execution of their vision — there is no waste, and every element keeps me engaged in its mad rush.
Rating: 8.5 out of 10
— Ryan Nalley
Disclosures: This game is developed and published by David Szymanski. It is currently
available on PC and Switch. This copy of the game was obtained via paid download and reviewed on the PC. Approximately 2 hours of play were devoted to the single-player mode, and the game
was completed. There are no multiplayer modes.
Parents: According to the ESRB, this game is rated T and contains Blood and Violence. The enemies are all fantasy based (monsters and goblins) and while there is plenty of blood, it’s low fidelity and non-realistic. When killed with an explosive enemies will explode into chunks of blood, but it’s all presented in a light-hearted cartoony fashion. There is a ‘Kids Mode’ setting which cuts down on the blood and changes the color to green — this also removes the chunks of blood when a goblin is blown up.
Colorblind Modes: There are no colorblind modes available.
Deaf & Hard of Hearing Gamers: This game does not offer subtitles. The only spoken dialogue in the game is in the form of random phrases from the enemies and is not represented visually. The enemies are constantly making noise, and while playing without sound I did notice the enemies to be more difficult to locate, particularly in more complex levels. All other sound effects have an accompanying visual cue. All narrative information is conveyed through text boxes preceding each level and is not spoken aloud. The in-game text cannot be altered and/or resized. This game is not fully accessible.

Remappable Controls: Yes, this game offers fully remappable controls. Additionally, all analog inputs (left and right sticks and triggers) can be calibrated individually to account for sensitivity and
deadzones.


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excellent concise review